Nik's wonder cure for constipation

Boy today was a high post day for me wasn’t it? Some days are like that. I started out this morning a little depressed but interacting with you all, ALWAYS makes me feel better. It’s just doing it without getting FIRED. Sigh...

 

Anyway many folks have expressed having poo problems. I have a suggestion. Not a 100% proven method although it’s worked for nearly every post-op to whom I have suggested it.

 

When I get constipated what I do is eat something that is really, really, REALLY high fiber (for me that would be Fiber One) with a source of good fat (so maybe that and some almonds or sometimes I do oatmeal and peanut butter but that’s just plain justification). For mynext meal, I follow it up with something really, really, really high in protein and easily passable through my system (protein shake, cottage cheese with whey, etc.).

 

Don’t worry if you can only eat a little bit of each meal. Eat as much as you can. If, within about an hour, you don’t have to go poo after that protein meal, I would be seriously surprised.

 

Now some warnings:

 

1. After the high fiber part you WILL feel bloated. Press on. It’ll be worth it in the end.
2. After the high fiber part you may not want to eat again for a LONG time but you have to do the protein part for the whole thing to come together.
3. I have no idea why this works so if you are in any way opposed to doing it, don’t do it!!! 

But I know this has worked for me without fail many times. Then I spoke to some post-ops about that and a few tried it and it worked for them. For what it’s worth (25 cents and a half a stick of gum) I THINK this works because food pushes food out of the system. The fiber is scrubbing your innards, the fat is greasing the innards then the protein pushes down on it all until it has to come out.

 

Aren’t you so glad we can talk about these things like adults?

All I have to say is: Isn't it funny how much time we spend talking about poo with strangers?  I'm beginning to think that it's socially acceptable.  Like when I'm at work:

"Samantha, this is your new boss, Bob."

"Nice to meet you, Bob.  I am having a great day.  I managed to poop before noon and I didn't even have to strain."

"You're fired."

*sigh*

Yeah. That was called a "Nikki go pee pee" post.

 Oh God!

I just choked on my protein shake!

*runs off to get paper towels to wipe off her chin*

I want to use that line TOMORROW.  AT WORK.

LMAO

 How funny Punk, and Nik thanks for sharing! I do have some problems at week 3 now. I hate even think about going! :(